Mediocre

I am one of the thousands of men and women approaching middle age and yes, I feel like I am drowning in the vastness of anonymity. The past few years have been spent in making myself as unnoticeable as possible. It probably began in medical school, when I strove to be hidden to avoid being singled out and called to recite in front of the class. Some of the time I did know the answer, I just did not want to stand out, did not want my voice heard, did not want my name known. I wanted to be in the middle of everyone, neither the girl whose brilliance outshone everyone, nor the one whose dullness made others shine.
Yes, I made it a point to be mediocre and it is slowly killing me. Like a leaf blown by the wind, I have let myself be brought to directions not of my own choosing, because I did not have desire to blaze my own path. Not that I have not been making decisions on my own entirely, I still did make those major choices in my life: to be a doctor, to be a wife, to be a mother, but lately I have noted that on the day to day hustle and bustle , I made myself too engrossed with making a living that I have neglected to live. Yes, like most thirtysomethings today, I have buried the once-was diamond in the rough within me with the coals of work and labor.
But no more. I no longer want to be in this place, the middle of nowhere, the middle of nothing, to be known as no one. I want to stand out, I want to be noticed, I want to be me. Seizing the day might be the cry of a younger generation just about to start their lives, but it is also my cry, the cry of a person who no longer wishes life to pass me by. I will no longer be satisfied with making do with what I have and letting others take the lead. I am me. I am special. I have the power to make a difference. And I will make the difference.
Mediocre. No more. I will make you notice me. I will have your attention. I will live.